Deep Barren Abyss

I was in love with your glow
And I knew so well your gloom
I was in love with your smile
And your insecure aching soul

But tonight the angels bleed
The darkest night you would ever see
You are deep barren abyss to my only wish
Oh, the way you torment me

I was in love with your wisdom
The way you would paint beauty with sorrow
I was in love with your sensitivity
Between my words and your silence

But tonight the angels bleed
The darkest night you would ever see
You are deep barren abyss to my only wish
Oh, the way you torment me!!

Murmur of the Heart

Bury all your secrets in my heart

Try out my will, test my zest,

Arise from the darkness with a light,

Come inside and lift my spirit; 

Reading the unsaid in your words,

Between hopeful words and fearful silences,

Consuming hatred based on delusions,

The emphasized ignorance,

Destroy your silence;

A fate tied down to words

Find words in the fire of longing;

Left alone in the gloom of my madness,

Come to me with all you hide from world,

Let me be the interpretation behind all your dreams,

Write myself into dark corners of your psyche,

So break yourself against my stones;

I don’t claim to be a saint,

But I won’t hurt you in the end.

If my words do reach her one day,

She would never believe, it was all for her!!!

Struggle to express the inexpressible

 

Summer, so far has been a whirlwind of hectic travelling, never ending work load and frantic attempts to manage some time for family and friends. It’s been an unproductive season so far with growing desire to find some time out somehow away from this hypocrite, deceptive, unscrupulous and slander world. The more you try to act responsible, there exist people who would do anything to hinder or thwart your just motives. No one has the right to hold someone accountable for the standards one refuse to act upon one’s self. My answer to all of them is quite simple “Whatever you condemn, you have done yourself. If you can’t cooperate than at least be courteous and let others manage it.”

Life is a logical puzzle. Negative emotions and anxiety does not leave you with a peaceful mind. It feels like I am entrapped in vortex of emotional mess. I can bear anything said about my way of dealing, attitude and personal routine. But what I can’t allow anyone is to judge my utmost dedication and commitment towards work.

The only positivity I get are from the excerpts of Timothy Pina’s Hearts for Haiti; “Everything will usually get worse before it gets better, but when it does get better. Remember all who you put down and all who helped you up. Forgive but never forget. Let Karma take care of all the rest.”

And then some friends, say you have changed. But deep down inside I know I’m the same being chasing old dreams. People always change their mind through observation and become judgmental. There are certain things you cannot share with your family but there exist people whom you can always trust and speak your heart out. I have been blessed with a friend closer than a brother whom I can share anything. Also, banter with my fanatic fellas have helped to forget the fuss at work. I can’t thank them enough for being there without knowing all the stuff and be pillar of my strengths.

Despite last few weeks in negative environment, I’ve tried to spend time expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism, nurturing loving relationships, savoring life’s little pleasures and so on and so forth. It’s a new beginning but same old me!!

Flame of Life

Courtesy “Colorfu”

 

Desolate yet cheerful

Shattered yet inspirited

Devoid yet alive

Lifeless yet counting every second of an hour

Falling but still haven’t hit the ground

Lonely but crowded

Despised by many yet adored by few

Soaking up the bitterness, silent tears

Angry words, fake smiles.

It’s all so very dark.

My heart is frail, my emotions sore.

I do my best to never let it show

But deep down inside, I feel like;

My flame of life is going out

And nobody knows!!!

Forsaken Tree

Atoofa Through the Looking Glass

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Barren land and lost shadow,

Morpheus sleeping nearby.

What cost will I get?

For the choice I just made.

Death; or survival that will

Be the answer in the end.

Trees in a row were there;

Perched like a ray of hope.

Hissing sound of the leaves,

In the woods was terrifying though.

Amidst stands the lonely tree.

So, lonely like abandoned me.

The branches were dense

And leaves were lush.

Apparently, it was happy like me.

But when the hissing sound produced

In The tree’s leaves,

It was like a sad humming bee.

Singing alone on the long road,

The song of the people long gone!

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The Puppet And His Old Soul Mate.

In that abandoned area of town
Where withered longings and fantasies swarm,
A crinkled man about to die,
In hopes to have at least one friend,
Built through timber and stuff
A puppet run by strings.

He sat deserted for many hours,
Conversing with his sole companion
Found pleasure in the very fact
That he managed it’s every act.
He told it how he never had
A chance, since all odds were against
Even though, he’d attempted to triumph
The puppet nodded in agreement.

And how his odyssey’s in romance
Had never given him a chance,
Also, it was a bad remorse
That he was always held to blame
When everyone knew, oh so well,
That life is nothing but a living hell,
Full of selfishness, debauchery and hauteur.
The puppet nodded in agreement.

With fortitude that would rival angels,
That Puppet listened to all his grievance
And, with every slight astute jerk,
He’d nod or slouch or salute
Hence, ease the misery of the old man
Who had his life in his grasp
And supported to fulfill only wish
When he only had to nod and agree

Decrepitude grew with age
As did the old man’s enactment,
Febrile fingers stretched with delight
The puppet’s pirouette of anguish.
They never left each other’s side
Till the day both ceased and died.
People found them lying, holding hands,
The Puppet and his old soul mate.

Just A Friend!!!

As another winter night goes by,
I lie awake in my bed
Overwhelmed with your thoughts,
That wander my mind.

In the midst of indecision and conviction;
Fluttering like an abandoned ship.
An inexplicable feeling of anxiety
will not depart me.

Out of the shadows of the darkest night,
My fears and inhibitions melt;
What winds of destiny may bring
But now, I can’t have you beside.

Lately, I have found out;
Earnest and profound,
The only way to be part of someone you love is by being;
Just a friend!!!

Smithereens

Flashback

Blood’s last drop fell down

& the stone died; I moaned

Over the pains hitherto stored

The wolf’s dead; somebody howled

 

Light took over as the Shroud;

For the centuries old darkness

; The Shroud that frightens everyone

& takes a soul in distress!

 

Dead stone made its presence felt

By beating unconsciously inside

Pain, guilt, fear & regrets,

Are what inside it hides!

 

What’s written can’t be changed

& what’d changed was never written!

These facts made me get the stone hanged

& get rid of the Load, unbidden.

 

“I’d come back in another form’’

, said the hanged stone, mockingly!

‘’till the moment you wear humanity’s crown’’

, said it again, now slightly laughing!

 

I took the crown off my head

& with force threw it farther away!

And the rage that stone had inside,

For once, turned the stone blood red!

 

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